Hurricanes 3, Rangers 0

Woof.

For the first time all season, the Rangers are out of the Top 8. Now, before we go too deeply into feeling bad about our seasons, and therefore about our entire existences as fans, let me say that I am unprepared to claim that these are the old Rangers. Mostly. Generally speaking, they pushed more, forechecked more, drove to the puck more. Mostly. It is worth pointing out that the entire speed of the game was dictated by exemplary officiating. This game was a perfect example of how Colon Campbell and the "New NHL" are ruining hockey. 10 minors were called in the first 33 minutes, including 2 hookings, 3 holdings, and an interference - ticky-tack bullshit. When the game started, I had that feeling in my stomach like it was a playoff game. But the excitement wore off pretty quickly thanks to the men in stripes. Both sides, mind you. The Rangers weren't roped or anything. The 'Canes got it just as bad (except, of course, for the 2 (up from our usual 1) "but it says 'Avery' on his back" calls). It just felt like any time anything got too exciting for a minute or two, they called a penalty to slow it down.

So, absolutely the Rangers were victims of that. But, so were the Hurricanes. And they put 3 biscuits past a stellar Steve Valiquette anyway. And we couldn't put ANY past Cam Ward. It's not that we didn't get a lot of shots on him, it's just that after driving hard for the beginning of the game, we were slow to our rebounds, and we didn't get a lot of quality chances. We also made some big mistakes, attempting far too many cross-ice passes, and embarrassingly often pushing the puck right out to a Hurricane.

As Larry Brooks said, "Now is the preceding paragraph one that could have been lifted from a game report from the middle of February, or what?"

Last night was a montage, if you will. A Rangers retrospective. We came out solid and strong and fast. When we went down 1-0, we sat back for a few minutes, but then Sean Avery came out of the penalty box with 3 or 4 vengeances, and all of a sudden we were back in it. But by the time we had let 3 PP opportunities come and go (and a 4th be interrupted by another Sean Avery Phantom Penalty (Avery's response to whether or not the stripes are giving him unfair treatment was a simple "Yep."), and Rod "This is the second NHL team with which I have played 600 games" Brind'Amour scored on a rocket from the point on a PP, we collapsed. Then, I *did* start to see the old Rangers. Mostly. We were *faster* than the old Rangers. But we weren't any smarter. We still put the puck in stupid places. We still panicked. And Torts switched up the lines. But to his "not-Renney" credit, at least he didn't just keep switching them every shift, and at least he couldn't use Renney's other go-to panic plan (bench Prucha).

And as with all good stories of intrigue, involving conflict (Rangers vs. Canes), character development (Rangers vs. Rangers), and a common evil (Players vs. Refs), there were foils. And if Sean Avery is the face of the New New York Rangers, then surely the face of the Old New York Rangers is Michal Rozsival. He was inexcusable. Well before it was 1-0, I was screaming at my TV (an embarrassment when you watch hockey alone, but more of an embarrassment when you watch it with one other person, especially if he's a Pens fan) about how he doesn't know what to do with the puck. Then he made that terrible move where he had the puck, by himself, in the 'Canes zone, and stood with it until he found 2 approaching Hurricanes to pass it to. That led to the shot that sent Valley sprawling, and left the puck in the crease, with Rozsival himself. Before he could get his stick to the ice, a 'Cane had time to come in from 5 feet out to seal the deal. These, you must realize, were two in a long series of him just not knowing what to do with the puck, including twice that he was all alone with the puck 6 feet from Cam Ward and just stood there thinking for a while until the play was almost dead. They just happen to be the two that led to the first goal.

Again, I'm not blaming Michal Rozsival for the loss: it was a team effort. But just as Avery, while not being singlehandedly responsible for the excited energy we sometimes see from the whole team, is often the catalyst and the best example of it, Rozsival, while not responsible in solo for this creaming, certainly carries more of the blame than anyone else, and is certainly the current poster boy for the outwitted, outplayed, outlasted Renney-gades.

Torts, sit him Thursday, bring up Corey Potter. What's the worst that could happen?