Friday, March 19, 2010

How we lost to the West

"It's a crowded bus there." That was Tortorella's reaction to the idea of pointing fingers at one or a couple of Rangers following Tuesday night's collapse to the Habs. Certainly, it was a crowded travel bus of Rangers to blame for last night's loss to the Blues, and while it was a more entertaining game to watch, and we showed more life, it ended with the same 0 points gained, 1 game gone.

We battled back hard in the first after giving up a very early goal to a St. Louis team that is itself trying to scrape back into its own conference's playoff picture, and we ended the first 2-1, outshooting them 11-4. Despite myself (and my frequent flipping to the Boston-Pittsburgh game wondering why Matt Cooke was still breathing), I was actually excited by it. Prust won a great fight against a much bigger Brad Winchester, Gaborik had finally put one in, we had scored late in a period, and we were outplaying them at both ends of the ice.

But, of course, when the period ended, we came back a different team. It wasn't as extreme as our debacle from Tuesday, but it looked like the Blues were always just half a step faster than we were, everywhere. Eventually, they made us pay twice, the second of which actually looked like it was one Lundqvist should have stopped. By the end of the second, the Blues had scored 3 goals on 10 shots.

See? Crowded bus.

As if to take any blame off the shoulders of the King, the Rangers opened the third period with a gift of a 5-on-3: within 45 seconds of each other, two different Blues shot the puck over the boards for a delay of game penalty. The Rangers, apparently figuring their units don't really have any chemistry to begin with, went with a five-forward PP unit (Jokinen, Prospal, Drury, Callahan, Gaborik) that proceeded to play the most infuriating game of "keep-away" since your older brothers stole your He-Man action figure (it came with Battle Cat!). 4 men went with the "only Gaborik may shoot" plan, while Gaborik himself chose "Gaborik may not shoot" as the defining strategy. We totaled one shot on the 1:17 5-on-3, which Joe Micheletti called "the worst 5 on 3 [he has] seen all season."

In the interest of making absolutely every Ranger seem equivalent, it was Wade Redden that scored a goal (his second of the season, first in 58 games) to tie the game at 3. I made the mistake of getting excited. 1:13 later, Paul Kariya scored his 400th career goal after outstripping Ryan Callahan down the ice. Don't be too concerned: Cally's not entirely to blame. Newest Ranger Jody Shelley, in a move science's top minds have yet to understand, seemed to drop the puck at center ice, not notice a Blue (Backes, I think?) 10 feet behind him, and go skating off to the bench for a change, leaving the Blue (let's call him Backes) with the puck and a bunch of open ice in front of him. He skated ahead and got the puck to whomever got it to Kariya. Callahan, coming off the bench in the change, didn't have the time to get up a full head of steam, and Kariya beat him and then Hank for the last goal of the game.

And Matt Cooke is still alive. Bad night for hockey.

You don't really want a standings update, do you? Fine. First, let me tell you why, if we make the playoffs, we're losing to the Caps in the first round again. Currently in seventh place is Montréal. They are 7 points ahead of us, and we each have 11 games remaining. Do you really think we're making up 7 points on a team in 11 games? Meanwhile, barring a bold act of nature or terrorism, the Caps are coming in first, winning the Presidents' Trophy, and absolutely not losing in the first round. So, all this talk of "making the playoffs" is really only a fight for our right to lose very quickly to Washington.

So, how are our chances at 8th?

8. Boston - 74, 12 GR
9. Atlanta - 71, 12 GR
10. RANGERS - 71, 11 GR

And then, a few points behind us, are Tampa, Florida, the Islanders, and the 'Canes. So, like, I'm not saying that these last two losses that we could have won have definitely taken us out of the playoff picture. Of course not. But, like, it's very easy to see our relevance disappearing over the course of this week.

Coming up, we play the Bruins (yes, those same ones that are up in 8th place) on Sunday afternoon. They'll be very hungry after last night's loss at the hands of the Pittsburgh Shitballs (do you like that name? I made it up just now, using wit). Again, I don't wanna be the kind of guy who uses phrases like "THIS IS OUR SEASON!!1", but does anyone really believe that after losing on Sunday, we'll somehow make up the 5-points-and-a-game by which Boston will then lead us, in the 10 games we will then have left?

And does it matter, since, as established, all we'll be fighting for is the right to lose to the Caps?

I guess it could be worse. Of the top six teams in the East right now, I hate the Caps the least. Better they be on top by this much than the Pens, Sabres, Devils, Flyers, or Senators.

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