Monday, February 28, 2011

Everyone shut up

Joe Nieuwendyk: "I got a kick out of everyone in the media saying, 'who could use Brad Richards?' Well, our team."

Who cares

John Mitchell was a minor league deal, expect to see his name again when training camp starts in the fall, at the soonest. We gave up a 7th-round pick in 2012 for him. Meanwhile, in deals involving anyone you've heard of, the Devils traded Arnott to the Caps for Steckel. That's an interesting deal. Oh, and Christopher Higgins got moved. Again. Now he's a Canuck. Really, Mike Gillis? That's who you go for to make a run to the Cup?


Hey, we just traded for a guy! John Mitchell? I guess he's a center for the Leafs. 6'1", 205 lbs. 83/149 (55.7%) on faceoffs in 23 games played this season. OK? Dunno what we gave up for him, either. Sure.


OK, so nothing is really happening (except Chris Campoli to the 'Hawks), but Dane Byers, yet another former Ranger, has found himself on the Coyotes. It's starting to get creepy, Don Maloney.

Blah blah blah

Caps trade some prospect I've never heard of named Jake Hauswirth and a third-rounder to Florida (again), for Dennis Wideman. Nice move for the Caps, Florida keeps dumping. Also, Jimmy Howard re-signs with the Wings for a 2-year extension. Sure, sure.

On the Edmonton Hockey Oilers

One guy on TSN's Trade Deadline Radio: "Edmonton fans are sophisticated fans; they're willing to wait."
Other guy on TSN's Trade Deadline Radio: "Sophisticated fans, or rubes?"

Go Thrash!

I like the Thrashers; I do. I think they're a better team than they get credit for, and they're definitely a better team than their fan base knows about. If some team below the fold makes it up above to bump off, say, Carolina, I wish it could be them, though that chance gets slimmer every day. Also, I'd like them to not move.

Anyway, that's why I care a little that they just traded Niclas Bergfors and one-time Ranger Patrick Rissmiller to the Panthers for one-time Ranger Radek Dvorak. EDIT: That's Dvorak and a fifth-rounder.

oh god it's the trade deadline

We probably won't do anything today! Because we just traded Tim "Remember Me, You Guys?" Kennedy and a third-rounder in the next draft for Bryan McCabe, like, two days ago. He's in the last year of a $5.75 million cap hit deal, and he played pretty well yesterday afternoon, while most Rangers only did so for half a game. So, good deal. Meanwhile, last known asking price for Brad Richards was Anisimov, a first-rounder, and some prospect (unknown). So, don't expect to be trading for him, especially since he's a free agent at the end of this season anyway. Stars GM Joe Nieuwendyk has got to know that this is basically the same thing as not accepting any trade offers for Richards, right?

Anyway, if anything happens that is cool, I will blog it. So far, nothing has happened that matters, like, at all.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Not really content

So, last night, my father asked me to text him updates throughout the game, because he's on a business trip and couldn't watch the game. I found out about 8 minutes into the game. I know this doesn't count as an actual post, but as long as I'm too busy/lazy/sick to actually post, this is probably better than nothing? It's like a liveblog? Only not.

7:15 PM You're not watching later, you want updates?
7:21 PM Avery with a great move around 3 canes to the goal mouth, save, prust tips in. A few minutes later, prospal hit post. Then anisimov made an awful blind move right in front of hank that should have led to a cane goal but didn't. 1-0 us, 8 min. in. All rangers right now
7:31 PM Prospal for slashing at 10:45. Great saves. Lots of chances, kill, but looong time in our zone. Still 1-0, 6:00 to go in 1st
7:40 PM Gilroy stripped in the neutral zone, was about to get odd-man rush. Instead, cane breakaway, puck off post, then off hank's back, then in. 1-1, 2:00 left in 1st
7:44 PM Zuccarello hooked with 1:45 left. Great PP, but no goals. 1-1 after 1.
8:06 PM 2nd is underway. So far tonight, wolski step zucc line looks great, staal having a great game, christensen and anisimov suck
8:10 PM Boyle just got very slashed, no call
8:11 PM Also, 6 min into second, shots are already 24-16 us
8:17 PM 9:30 into 2nd, we go on PP. Only so many non-calls before they finally call one. Also, Avery is too good for his line.
8:25 PM Back to our usual awful PP. 6:20 to go in 2nd, still 1-1. Prospal looks very good. BS call on Boyle for kneeing.
8:27 PM Penalty killed. 4:00 left in 2nd, 1-1.
8:39 PM 2:15 to go in 2nd, puck over glass on canes. 1:30 later, hooking on pitkanen. Nyr take TO, Step misses wide open net. Callahan perfect deflection as soon as 5-on-3 expires. 2-1 us after 2, back to full strength to start the 3rd.
9:02 PM 1:30 into 3rd McD called for int. Right call. Prust great on kill, no shots, but Jokinen scores top shelf through a screen before McD makes it back into play. 16:00 to go, 2-2
9:08 PM Canes shot from the point, jokinen completely outworks sauer to the front of the net, tips in his second of the period. 13:30 to go, 3-2 canes.
9:11 PM Also marc staal is in the locker room, possibly because his brother hit him in the head.
9:20 PM Canes come down 3 on 1, save Lundqvist. 7:30 to go, still 3-2.
9:23 PM Boyle is very strong on the puck, and this seems like Prospal's 15th shot on goal. But no dice, still 3-2, 5 min to go.
9:28 PM Rangers as usual with a billion shots but no goals. 3:30 to go, Canes TO, shots 41-28 us.
9:32 PM BRILLIANT set of moves by Wolski through the zone then in front of the net. Off a Cane stick, in. 3-3, 1 min left
9:34 PM OT! 7th and 8th place teams each get at least a point, bad news for Devils
9:39 PM Halfway through OT, good chances on both ends, still going...
9:44 PM SO many not-quite-goals. Time for a silly skills competition for a free point in the standings.
9:47 PM Skinner - save Hank. Christensen - save Ward.
9:48 PM Jokinen - save Hank. Zuccarello - too many moves, missed net
9:49 PM Samsonov - save Hank. Wolski - GOAL!!
9:50 PM No Gaborik, no Staal, final score 4-3 Rangers

That's all I've got for now, sorry.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Michigan Militia

Mike Richter made 38 saves on 40 shots, giving up goals to Igor Larionov and Brendan Shanahan. Brian Leetch and Jeff Beukeboom helped hold Steve Yzerman to a -2, and the Rangers won off of tallies by Niklas Sundstrom, Petr Nedved, and John MacLean. Adam Graves was held without a point in almost 20 minutes of ice time, and Wayne Gretzky had an assist.

It was January 30, 1999. Clinton was President, OK Computer was the latest Radiohead album, there were only three Star Wars movies, no one had ever heard of an Xbox, and Lindsay Lohan was the adorable 12-year-old child star of Disney's recent remake of The Parent Trap.

It was also the last time the New York Rangers won a hockey game in Detroit.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Top Five Things I Like Today

5. When I woke up yesterday morning, my girlfriend said to me, "sorry about the shootout [from the previous night]." My reaction was, "meh, we played a good game, so did they, it ended in a tie. Then we played the weird skills competition game and they earned themselves a free Bettman Point. Teams do that all the time - we've got five Bettman Points so far on the season ourselves. Whatever. Why should a 7-round shootout affect how I feel about a hockey game?" She then revealed to me that her father, who attended the game, heroically Walked The Fuck Out after overtime, and did not stick around for the shootout. Awesome.

Those aren't the #5 Thing I Like Today, they're the lead-up. The Thing in question is that we have a coach who basically feels the same way, and is willing to say it. Asked about why we went first instead of our usual second, Torts explained that we'd be going back in the future: "[Lundqvist] talked to me, he feels more comfortable making the first save. It's kind of his show in that silly skills competition we do, so... I have to listen to him."

Silly skills competition, indeed.

4. I know it's a Penguin doing it, but still: this.

3. The title of this video on YouTube is not the point. I watched it without sound. The point is just two guys, chilling and watching a basketball game.

2. Torts again! Comes out and says "I agree that Staal shouldn't be suspended, he sucker-punched a guy but it wasn't a huge deal, it wasn't dirty, intent-to-injure-type stuff" (I paraphrase here, of course). Then calls the league to ask why no one penalized Orpik for shouldering Avery in the head - not saying it was dirty, just that it really should have been penalized. The obvious implication: "you would have called a penalty if this were anyone but Avery, and if the situation were reversed, it would have been a suspension." Here's Brooks's take.

1. The long-awaited return of Vinny Prospal to the lineup tonight. That is so fucking cool. I hope he's good again. Also, despite his return, Staal will keep the A, which is bonus-awesome. Clearly, Newbury sits. Looks like the first line will be Prospal-Stepan-Gaborik? That's a pretty good line. I'd bitch a little about that obviously meaning Avery will end up on the fourth with Drury, except as we learned 2 nights ago, they're more guidelines than they are lines, and everyone will skate with everyone else.

Bonus: Fuck you, fatty! Spend the second half of April fucking your sister-in-law or whatever, you won't be playing hockey!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


So, Callahan and Dubinsky are our additions tonight. Grachev was sent back to Connecticut. Haven't seen any lines announced yet. Here's what mine would be:


If I understand my father's scrawled e-mail correctly, I think he would use:


What would you do? What will Torts do?

Many Happy Returns

Ryan Callahan - Scheduled to return tonight against the Penguins.

Dan Girardi - Scheduled to return tonight against the Penguins.

Vinny Prospal - Scheduled to return Thursday night against the Devils.

Brandon Dubinsky - Not yet officially ruled out for tonight against the Penguins, depending on how he feels this morning. More likely later this week.

Erik Christensen - Has a not-yet-public date in mind, believed to be within about a week.

Ruslan Fedotenko - No report right now; probably up to 2 more weeks out.

Derek Boogaard - "Not close." May not play again this season.

Alexander Frolov - Definitely out for the season. Not sure why I included him on this list; you knew that already.