So, here's a thing I'm learning about myself: when the Rangers actually make a run in the playoffs, I guess I get too overwhelmed and don't actually blog at all. How about that! Sometimes I Tweet, for what it's worth?
Anyway, a buddy was over for Game 4 the other night, and we were talking about Michael Del Zotto's peerless performance. Naturally, the conversation turned to the exemplar, erstwhile Ranger-defenseman-who-blows-but-supposedly-occasionally-scores, the Wandering Latvian himself. Which enabled me to say a sentence I am very, very proud of being able to say: "Oh, I wrote some poetry about Sandis Ozolinsh once."
I've put my acclaimed hockey poetry on this blog once before, but little do you know that I've been writing double dactyls for years. These three I wrote back in 2006 (obviously), and it was requested that I reprint (which is a very funny word to use about a blog) them here. They're not really too relevant, as Ozolinsh hasn't even been in the NHL for 4 years, and hasn't been a Ranger since Chris Kreider was 14. But here they are nonetheless.
If nothing else, these serve to remind you just how shitty our situation was not so long ago.
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Stickitty Suckity
Sandis S. Ozolinsh
cannot do anything
other than lose:
blow every play he makes
über-dramatically,
leave every Ranger fan
singing the blues.
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Puckilly Pukeally
Sandis P. Ozolinsh
ruined a season by
joining the team -
spoke of great skills he had
"super-offensively."
Turns out Glen's veterans
aren't all they seem.
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Fuckitall Fuckitall
Sandis F. Ozolinsh
felt that he hadn't quite
fucked up enough,
flew down the ice surface
sub-ill-advisedly,
scored on his goal, and said,
"Hey, hockey's tough!"
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