Well, courtesy of my sister, today we have a Christmas treat. She has ranked, for our reading pleasure, every Ranger on the roster or IR in terms of their overall hotness. (Except John Mitchell, for some reason, so I added him myself at number 27.) All annotations are hers, all I did was add some pictures. What better way to spend the league's Christmas break (besides staring at the Atlantic Division standings)? What, are you gonna watch goddamn basketball or something?
 | 27. John Mitchell: Age 26, 6'1", Aquarius [My sister didn't include him, so I put him last. Sorry, John!] |
| 26. Artem Anisimov: Age 23, 6'4", Gemini Poor guy; he's a really good player, just really unfortunate-looking. |  |
 | 25. Tim Erixon: Age 20, 6'2", Pisces He's still young. Maybe he'll grow into his looks. |
| 24. Anton Stralman: Age 25, 5'11", Leo What a goofy little face :-) |  |
 | 23. Erik Christensen: Age 28, 6'1", Sagittarius Really good in a shoot-out. Not so good at being good-looking. |
| 22. Ruslan Fedotenko: Age 32, 6'1", Capricorn Awwwww! I just wanna squeeze those little rosy cheeks! |  |
 | 21. Marc Staal: Age 24, 6'4", Capricorn I feel bad, 'cause of the concussion and all, but... sorry, man. |
| 20. Steve Eminger: Age 28, 6'2", Scorpio Nice hair, at least! |  |
 | 19. Wojtek Wolski: Age 25, 6'3", Pisces Cool name, though. |
| 18. Jeff Woywitka: Age 28, 6'3", Virgo Definitely gotta keep the beard, dude. |  |
 | 17. Derek Stepan: Age 21, 6'0", Gemini He just always looks a little confused. |
| 16. Carl Hagelin: Age 23, 5'11", Virgo That hair. |  |
 | 15. Marian Gaborik: Age 29, 6'1", Aquarius I had really wanted to put him higher, but I think I was blinded by his amazingness on the ice. So, here he stays. |
| 14. Ryan McDonagh: Age 22, 6'1", Gemini Precious smile: he seems so happy all the time. |  |
 | 13. Michael Sauer: Age 24, 6'3", Leo Depending on the lighting: sometimes really goofy, sometimes really hot. You make the call. |
| 12. Brandon Dubinsky: Age 25, 6'1", Taurus Many people would not agree, and would put him much lower, but I think he's adorable, and it's my list. So there. Also, his hotness factor has gone way up over the last few games. |  |
 | 11. Stu Bickel: Age 25, 6'4", Libra I'm liking the new guy! |
| 10. Mike Rupp: Age 31, 6'5", Capricorn Balding a little, but he's definitely got the "hot-older-man" thing going on. And he's so tall! |  |
 | 9. Martin Biron: Age 34, 6'2", Leo Sure, sometimes he can be overshadowed by the King, but don't underestimate him. Look at those piercing blue eyes. |
| 8. Brian Boyle: Age 27, 6'7", Sagittarius Six foot seven with flowing brown locks. Enough said. |  |
 | 7. Sean Avery: Age 31, 5'10", Aries His feisty personality definitely plays into his high placement. Oh, and the fact that he's also a model. Don't you just feel like he's looking into your soul? You know, that, or judging you? Either way, I have no problem with it as long as I can look at him. |
| 6. Brad Richards: Age 31, 6'0", Taurus I really hate his teeth, but as long as his mouth is closed, he's one of the sexiest men out there. And his work on the ice isn't too shabby, either. |  |
And this is... your Foxwoods Final Five (not actually brought to you by Foxwoods)!
 | 5. Ryan Callahan: Age 26, 5'11", Aries He's got that "guy next door" look with an "I can kick your ass" attitude. And the "C" on his shirt doesn't hurt. |
| 4. Michael Del Zotto: Age 21, 6'0", Cancer Sure, he's a young one, but let's be honest: he's a really, really, really hot young one. |  |
 | 3. Dan Girardi: Age 27, 6'1", Taurus So, if I had made this list before I viewed the most recent episode of 24/7, he may have been lower on the list. But, after seeing him with his son Landon, he skyrocketed to the top. Also, that slanted smile? Those piercing blue eyes? He belongs in the top three. |
| 2. Brandon Prust: Age 27, 6'0", Pisces My personal favorite :-) Sexy beyond all belief, sarcastic and funny with his teammates, and a fighter who's not afraid of someone 6" taller with a face shield on. Hot as hell, and a badass. If anyone knows him, let him know I'd like to grab a drink. |  |
 | 1. Henrik Lundqvist: Age 29, 6'1", Pisces Who else could be number one but the King? When making lists of the New York Rangers, you'll find Henrik Lundqvist atop a few of them. For example, a list of who has been the number one Star of the Game most often, or a list of who jams out on guitar the best. And now, the King takes his rightful place atop the list of Rangers ranked by hotness. What is it about him? His gorgeous hair? His piercing eyes? His slight accent? His genuine smile? Maybe it's the way he can swiftly move his leg to block a shot that you never even saw coming. Whatever it is that you love about him, I don't think anyone can contest that Henrik Lundqvist is the hottest member of an unusually attractive NHL team. |
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