Me: There are 6 reporters surrounding Crosby's dressing stall blocking his way right now. Darren Dreger called it "Stanley Cup-like."
Me: expound.
Him: man, isn't he just some hockey person?
Him: also: VS. cancels their broadcast of the reigning Stanley Cup champs to show the cable subscribing world a game between a 24 year old and the Islanders.
Him: granted, it's pretty cool when a 24 year old dismantles the Islanders....
Him: but fuck the heck people?
Him: i get it that Pittsburgh would be insane over this.
Him: that's fine.
Him: it should be like christmas morning for us.
Me: http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=602480
Me: that is nhl.com
Him: but why is hockey everywhere shutting down for this?
Me: live-blogging
Me: the penguins' practice.
Him: ALL DAY COVERAGE
Him: ALL FUCKING DAY COVERAGE
Him: look!
Me: this is fucking nonsense
Him:it's not THAT big of a deal.
Him: the coverage should start when he's taking the ice tonight.
Him: and then everyone can go back to doing something else.
Him: do you know what the NFL will do when Peyton Manning comes back from his injury?
Him: maybe cut away from your game to show you his first TD. then they'll show some highlights on ESPN later in the day and the next day.
Him: and that's it.
Him: maybe a headline on nfl.com that'll be like "He's back!"
Me: they won't send a live-blog team to his dressing room for the previous day's practice?
Him: The Zamboni is just finishing it's morning sweep of the ice and now one guy is on the ice with a squeegee. The nets are stationed near the half-walls, waiting to get put in their proper places.
Overall it's still relatively quiet here at Consol Energy Center. It won't be for long.
Him: oh my god, what's the ice temperature?
Him: man, the NHL is so fucking outrageous.
Him: does Steven Stamkos get mentioned by the NHL for doing anything?
Me: of course not! man, the day the lokomotiv plane crashed, nhl.com's top story was "no timetable for crosby's return"
Him: man.
Him: why do you like this league?
Me: it's the only one that gives me hockey on tv 8 months a year.
Him: [insert rant about liking the sport and hating the league]
Me: i didn't even need a rant! i was succinct!
Him: such is the power of your anger.
Him: man, Sid is good
Him: but he just plays some hockey.
Him: and so many other people play hockey.
Me: "Crosby hits the ice at 10:23. He's the fourth Penguin on the ice."
Him: who were the first three?
Me: Hockey Player Who Isn't Crosby, Some Russian Guy, and Maybe I Think He Has A Brother
Him: so fuckbutt, fuckbutt, and fuckbutt.
Me: top 4 headlines on nhl.com right now, in order:
Me: 1) Sid meets the media after skate
2) Crosby set to return to lineup Monday Night
3) Pens-Isles on VS tonight
4) Sid's Back
Him: ohmyjesus, why!?
Me: THIS JUST IN: Dan Rosen tweets that James Neal cannot get to his fucking dressing stall because of a swarm of reporters at Crosby's.
Me: "Stanley Cup-like"!
Me: https://twitter.com/#!/drosennhl (who is now officially the first Twittererer I have ever un-followed)
Him: man, he's just a hockey man!
Him: it would totally be one thing is some shitty pittsburgh news station did this.
Him: you could brush that off as dumb yinzer enthusiasm.
Me: sure!
Me: i'd even support it!
Me: if someone sent some Steigerwald (any of them, really) to practice and then write about how he totally skated in circles and that was exciting, great!
Him: man, i don't know shit about other hockey teams.
Him: and sure, you could say i need to watch more hockey.
Him: but here's the thing
Him: i watch more hockey than i do basketball
Him: and i know a lot more basketball men than i know hockey men.
Me: I think the joy isn't about seeing him play
Me: it's that they no longer have to pretend to pay attention to the other 29 hockey teams like they have for almost a year
Me: it's so much easier to just follow one guy on one team
Me: "Seeing Crosby in the morning is nothing unusual considering he has been practicing with the team, including morning skates, since Oct.13." --NHL.com writer Dan Rosen, in NHL.com's live blog about seeing Crosby in a morning skate.
Him: man, these people are getting paid.
Me: and we're not! we are so good at saying bullshit about bullshit!
Him: it's really all i have.
Him: man, Boston and Montreal is kind of a little bit of a rivalry, and i don't know, also a competitive game.
Him: but fuck that noise: here's a game with the Islanders!
Me: so i went to nhl.com again to tell you how far down the list of a dozen stories the boston-montreal game is
Him: i bet it's not on the list
Me: right, right, of course, it's not there at all.
Him: man, your league is awful.
Me: but i did notice at the top, where you can click on some games to learn more about, and their times and stuff
Me: what you know: the only game listed is pens-isles, 7pm, on vs
Me: what you don't know: the button actually says "CROSBY, 7ET, VERSUS"
Me: at this point, it feels like you are personally fucking with me. like you have somehow edited my hosts file to redirect nhl.com to a website you made
Me: where you just stuck a big red button in the middle of the NHL homepage that just says "CROSBY" on it, just to see how angry it would make me
Him: i am actually capable of a great deal of "mainframe" "hacks", etc.
Him: MOTHERBOARD
Him: FIREWIRE
Me: yes, yes. you're very computer.
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