On the Finals

I've been watching some of this sport you guys keep talking about, this hockey, and I don't have a ton to say about it. The Flyers beat the Canadiens in a few games, presumably by invoking some ancient magic hex that caused the Habs to forget how to actually move the puck through the neutral zone. Not moving the puck through the neutral zone leads to not having the puck in the opposing zone, which leads to not enough shots on goal, which leads to Michael "No, Seriously" Leighton netting three shutouts in a playoff series (a franchise record for both the Flyers and the Habs). In the Flyers' 4 wins (12 periods of hockey), the Canadiens only had double-digit shots on goal in five periods, and on the other end of the spectrum (no pun intended), had periods with 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, and 1, throughout the losses. Oof. Michael Leighton is the new Marty Brodeur.

And then we got to the finals, and here we are, watching a clearly superior team play against a team that is actually, despite my mental block against noticing it, not so terrible at hockey. And yes, the Hawks are a more complete team, and they're up 2-0 in the series, and all is right with the world.

Except, have you watched the games? 'Cause I've been noticing something that doesn't make any sense, whereby the Flyers aren't getting penalized for, like, anything. At first glance, one might think they had cleaned up their act somewhat, in the name of winning the Stanley Cup. But that is not the case. What seems to be true is, in order to make the game seem "cleaner," or to make the series seem more "balanced," or for some other terrible reason, the officials seem to not be bothering to call anything the Flyers do.

Like, anything. Over the last two games, they have not-called at least five interference calls, a couple of which were an entire zone from the puck; a handful of tripping calls in front of the crease; and at least two high-sticking calls, one of which actually drew blood while the official was 10 feet away staring at it happening. And those are just the plays I specifically remember, over the course of the five periods of hockey I've watched so far (I missed the third of game 1). It's astoundingly bad.

My friend Mark, who never really watches hockey, but is slowly starting to get into it because his friends watch it (and because it's amazing), said last night during game 2, "the problem is they don't seem to have and sort of feedback loop, do they? Who do they report to?"

Out of the mouths of babes, eh? Of course, the officials all report to Colon, who technically reports to Bettman, who is the league commissioner. Fine. But, as I explained to Mark, at no point is anyone in that chain beholden to the coaches, or the GMs, or the NHLPA, or the fans, or anyone but themselves. And it's at the point where what bugs me isn't even that the officials swing games. Refs, umpires, and the like have always swung games with little personal biases. This happens in sports. What's appalling to me, now, is that in the NHL, they no longer feel that they even need to make it look balanced. They can just call with whatever agenda they like, and the next day there can be all sorts of stories about how egregiously biased the officiating was, and then they can go do the same thing the next day, because no one is stopping them.

You don't even hear "so Campbell game them a slap on the wrist." You don't even see them change things for a game or a period, so they can have something to point at to say "see? It was even." I think that's what bugs me most: they are no longer trying to hide it. They just call the games however they feel like calling them, and there is absolutely no feedback loop.

Fuck Philadelphia, if I hadn't mentioned that yet today. Fuck them just so, so much. Despite some if-we-give-them-every-benefit-of-the-doubt-they're-just-all-really-really-stupid officiating, the Hawks lead 2-0. I've got a busy summer coming up; let's try to get this hockey season over with before the weekend is through, shall we?