Who Should Eat A Dick?

Tonight, there is a lot of anger going around here at Play Petr Prucha headquarters. Even the pint of Ben & Jerry's in front of me only makes me feel marginally better. So, it's time to attempt Plan B: rant impotently at the cold and unresponsive ear of the Internet. Some nights, some people are such butt scarves that, rather than whatever it is they do, they should probably just fuck off and eat a dick. Tonight, we look at those people in detail, in a new segment I like to call Who Should Eat A Dick?

First of all, Jim Dolan should eat a dick, for continuing to price actual hockey fans out of actual hockey games. I get that everything in New York is expensive, and I get that, as it's the city where all the culture and business come from, there are going to be a lot of attendees at MSG to Be At An Event, rather than to watch a game. But with lower bowl seating starting at $150 and going as high as $1300 per ticket, and many games selling out before individual tickets even go on sale (resale easily doubling a ticket's face value at the minimum), it's hard to feel like the crowd at the home opener was really as full of Ranger fans as it could have been. In years to come, will the Garden still feel like the Garden, or will the rowdier place to watch the game be the Flying Puck? If it's the latter, Dolan's the primary conspirator, and he should eat a dick.

On that note, Adam Richman should eat a dick. I had no idea who this guy was before tonight, but apparently he hosts some Food Network bullshit. Whatever: dude walked down the blue carpet for an interview pregame, as if he belonged there as much as Stemkowski, Matteau, or Greschner, talking a big game about how he used to work with Dave Maloney, and how tonight was "more than just a game" for him, a "part of [his] history." In the same breath, he got the Garden's nickname wrong (calling it "The World's Greatest Arena"), and said he couldn't wait to get inside and see the Broadway Blues. (Out of the mouths of babes, eh?) The whole thing stunk of "Dad trying to use modern slang to seem cool to teenage daughter, but obviously getting it wrong." Next time, if you wanna blend in with the fans, ditch the peacoat for a blueshirt, and try keeping your mouth shut. Until then, eat a dick.

Now, as for the player intros -- Oh, wait, I can't comment on that, because I didn't see it, because NBC Sports Network should eat a dick! My MSG feed was blacked out at exactly 7:30, because NBC Sports Network has exclusive rights to broadcast the game here. But, of course, they weren't as interested in showing me the opening night intros as they were in showing me Liam McHugh, Jeremy Roenick, and Keith Jones talking about other hockey games. So, they didn't want to show me the intros, but they also didn't want anyone else to. That's a dick-eating policy.

Of course, the centerpieces of the dick-eating dais have to be Gord Dwyer and Dave Jackson, the disastrous duo of referees who saw the Garden opener as their time to shine on the national stage, rather than the Canadiens' and Rangers'. The game was called terribly, and, as is so often the case with terrible officiating in the small sample size of one game, it heavily favored one team (the other guys, in this case). Most calls were bad, but none were as awful as the interference call on Kreider that cancelled out a Ranger power play in the 3rd. Courtesy of SB Nation, here's the play in convenient gif form:



According to Vigneault in a post-game interview, when he asked for an explanation, he was told that "if a player is skating backwards, the defenseman has to get out of his way, even if he was standing still." For the record, as if this needs to be clarified, the NHL Rulebook, section 56.1 ("Interference") clearly states: "A player is allowed the ice he is standing on
(body position) and is not required to move in order
to let an opponent proceed." In conclusion, these referees are bad at their jobs and subsequently liars, and should definitely eat a dick.

But it doesn't stop there! Granted, the Rangers aren't scoring much these days, and they're giving up plenty. And it's absurd to blame a couple of goal reviews for that. But, in the "insult to injury" category, the NHL Situation Room can eat a dick. Thursday night, in Philadelphia, J.T. Miller had a goal (as called on the ice) disallowed by the Situation Room on the grounds of a "distinct kicking motion." Tonight, Alex Galchenyuk had a goal upheld (as called on the ice). The phrase "eerily similar" has been used, and not inappropriately. Let's go to the video.

Here is Miller, whom multiple camera angles convinced the brain trust in the Situation Room "propelled the puck into the net with a distinct kicking motion":


And here is tonight's goal, on which multiple camera angles convinced the same brain trust that "the puck deflected off Alex Galchenyuk's right skate and into the net in a legal fashion":


No further analysis is necessary here; the Situation Room should eat a dick.

Speaking of the Rangers not scoring much these days, Brad Stuart should eat a dick. His headshot on Rick Nash 3 weeks ago cost himself a justified 3-game suspension, but cost Rick Nash who knows how long? The team remains totally silent about Nash's status, which is a very, very bad sign for its future. Speculation at this stage is dangerous and depressing, but one thing is clear as Lucite: Brad Stuart absolutely ought to eat a dick.

It's not right for me to write this long a frustrated post without getting angry at any Rangers, so let's remember that, as ever, Anton Stralman should eat a dick. Attention, everyone! I don't know why you like this guy so much! He! Is! Shitty! He's a defensive liability with an imaginary offensive upside! Seriously, some nights I feel like I'm watching a totally different guy than everyone else. Special bonus dick-eating sentence for the usually blameless Doc Emrick here, who called a play in which Stralman, from the point, passed the puck backwards to no one, leaving Marc Staal to make a diving play at the blue line to stop the puck from trickling out by inches. Doc described it as a "brilliant shuffleboard move" by Stralman. Dicks for everyone. To eat.

Also, Peter Budaj, who made a perfectly serviceable 27 saves tonight, should eat a dick, for being generally outplayed by a back-to-form King but nonetheless earning the shutout over him. I understand that all Budaj did to deserve this was his job as perfectly as he could have, but still.

Finally and even less fairly, because his production is so impossibly good so far, and I'm so very angry about unrelated things, blog favorite Sidney Crosby should eat a dick. In 12 games, Crosby has netted 8 goals and 12 assists. In 10 games, the whole Rangers team has only scored 15. In other words, Sidney Crosby is contributing to more goals per game than all the Rangers combined. If he stays healthy and on this (likely unsustainable) pace, Crosby will finish the season with 136 points, which would be the most in a single season since both Jagr and Lemieux broke 140 in 1995-'96.

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks.

The New York Wish Fulfillment Rangers, or Aaron Is Never Happy

So, you have no reason to believe this, but: I had planned to write a post today that, among other things, presented a case against eminently likable but ultimately inadequate backup goaltender Martin Biron. I was going to claim that a string of "bad outings" couldn't keep being seen as one-offs, supporting the argument with Biron's subterranean .899 save percentage dating back through 2010-2011. I was further going to (somewhat tenuously) argue that, as a backup goalie's primary job is to provide (mediocre) consistency, giving the team a chance to win every time he comes in even if he's never above average, the occasional stinker is to be tolerated less in a backup than in a starter. I was going to lament that Hedberg was never given a fair shake at camp, and that, given that Talbot needs to be playing instead of sitting, that left us with no option but Biron on the roster.

I was going to say all those things, and it was probably going to take me longer than that, but then today the Rangers put him, and Arron Asham, on waivers. So, I guess I don't have to convince anyone of anything. But, of course, this raises a pretty obvious question: Who goalie now? Vigneault isn't ruling anyone out, including Talbot and the Moose, but in the meanwhile, Biron will either be claimed on waivers or clear and be sent to Hartford. So, who goalie now? Do we believe that 40-year-old Hedberg, whose last NHL game was 6 months ago (he gave up 4 goals on 21 shots to the Rangers) will be more consistent, if he joins Callahan, Stepan, and Hagelin among the ranks of Rangers who didn't have the luxury of a training camp? Do we think that it's time for Talbot to start becoming familiar with backup life? Who goalie now??

Okay, and look. Fuck Arron Asham. Dude with that guy's history should make way for inexperienced kids, even if they're less talented, 10 times out of 10. I've said in this space many times that the Rangers would be easier to root for without him, and I'm excited about entering that reality. But. Since camp started, the guy has been better than plenty of other Ranger forwards. Hell, he has even won fights (something I couldn't say for him at all last season). If he was worth keeping around before, I can't imagine what has changed now. Am I really supposed to be excited instead about Derek Dorsett - he of the three unprovoked, unnecessary offensive-zone infractions Saturday night, of which two led to goals?

In conclusion, two things that I wanted to happen happened today, and I'm worried/unhappy about both. Thus, I have achieved what I believe to be the very essence of the Garden Faithful, and I am ready to transcend.

The rest of the planned post was to be an exciting numerical foray into just how bad the Rangers have been so far. That's the fun thing about such a small sample size: 5 games into an 82-game season, you can really combine the numbers to tell an atrocious tale. For example:

• The Rangers have amassed a goal differential of -16 in only 5 games. Not only is this obviously the league worst, it puts them on pace to be outscored by their opponents by 262.4 goals by the end of the regular season. This is only 2.6 short of the NHL record, set by the Washington Capitals, who were outscored by 265 in 1974-75.
• The Rangers have given up 25 goals in those 5 games, putting them on pace to give up 410 on the season, 36 shy of the record set by those same Capitals.
• The Rangers have, logically, then, scored only 9 goals so far. This puts them on pace to score 147.6, only 14.6 goals more than the NHL-low 1953-54 Chicago Black Hawks.
• 4 of the Rangers' goals were on the power play (2 on 5-on-3s), and one was that really bizarre shorthanded Jonathan Quick misplay over 100 feet from anyone else. Thus, the Rangers have only scored 4 even-strength goals: 3 by Brad Richards, one by Derek Dorsett.
• Ranger goalies have given up those 25 goals on 179 shots, for a combined save percentage of .860 through almost 300 minutes. .860.
• Marc Staal and Dan Girardi are already each -7. Ryan McDonagh is -5. Yes, plus/minus is dumb, but I don't have "on the ice for an even-strength goal," which is really only a little better anyway, and I don't know if you heard me but Staal, Girardi, and McDonagh are on pace to average under -100 each.
• The Rangers have been outshot in every game, obviously. But also, they have only even outshot their opponents in 4 individual periods (of 15), and 2 of those were the second and third of their shutout loss to the Ducks (can you say "score effects"?). The other two were the second period in LA and the second period in St. Louis.
• The Rangers have taken 135 shots on goal, bringing their shot differential to -44, an average per game of -8.8. The depressing part about that one? That's exactly what it was last season.

It's hard to be noticed at all among this kind of rubbish, but it's worth pointing out that, to date, Callahan is starting to look very good, Brad Richards looks almost worth the contract, and Stralman manages to stand out as a problem even on this blue line that is on pace to be nigh historically bad. Also, Derek Dorsett is, predictably, not exactly making up the difference between "Brassard, John Moore, and a 6th-rounder" and Marian Gaborik, is he? Yyyyyyyikes.

Look. Here's the thing. The Rangers are not this bad. At least, as you can see, it is statistically unlikely that they are this bad. We know this without even bothering to notice that the team shooting percentage (just as meaningless in a 5-game sample as the rest of these numbers) is as low as 6.67%. The team is bad for every reason, and it's fixing whatever it can. Lundqvist will get better. Biron will not. Callahan and Stepan, and eventually Hagelin, too, will return to regular season form. Everyone is learning a new system, and as they do, they'll stop focusing on it, and their ability to complete basic tape-to-tape passes is likely to return. Do those changes make the team likely to win the Cup, or even the division? No. But they make it better than this.

The point is: you shouldn't worry about any of that. The only thing from the last 5 games that you should worry about is the hit on Rick Nash. Nash is legitimately one of the best forwards in hockey. He is certainly the best on the Rangers. He's now retroactively on IR, out indefinitely, with concussion-y headaches. The Rangers had better take their time with this one, but who knows how long that will be, or if he'll ever come back the same? Best case, Nash returns soon and everything is fine. Worst case, he is, as my father fearfully suggested, "this generation's Eric Lindros" - and then, the Rangers are shitty this season, so Lundqvist signs elsewhere. Then, without Nash or Lundqvist, we can talk about how much this team really sucks. And we will.

EVERYONE CALM DOWN

Seriously you guys, Code Blue. This team doesn't know anything about each other yet. The coaching staff doesn't know anything about this team yet. You know what's pretty likely? You don't know anything about this team yet, either.



Look, the entire coaching staff (Benoit Allaire notwithstanding) was changed in the offseason (for those of you keeping score, the offseason was one game ago). Not a single forward line even resembles a line we had a few months ago. Brad Richards is a left wing now. Derek Stepan didn't go to any of training camp. Two of our top three scoring wingers from last season are currently out recovering from identical shoulder surgery. When Jesper Fast was born, Mark Messier was already a Ranger. This team hasn't exactly had time to gel, is what I'm saying.

Shouting about how "Vigneault's Power Play" is supposed to look better at this stage is just the bigger-scale version of shouting at the point man to shoot the puck a few seconds into an instance of it. I know you want them to score, but just chill out and let them get set up first! I am not a professional hockeyman, so I cannot be sure about this, but please allow me this supposition: it takes more than zero regular season games to learn a brand new system with a bunch of brand new guys well enough to use it to succeed at the highest professional level.

Breathe. This was supposed to happen. Trading Tortorella for Vigneault was likely a good move. Moving Richards to the wing was likely a good move. The Rangers will likely be a good squad this season. And it will all likely take some time. Meanwhile, even while we're losing, we're already more fun to watch. So, everything is okay, and everything is going to continue to be okay.

Opening night looms

So, the roster is set, and mostly what I thought would happen happened, but then sometimes it didn't. The defensive cuts worked out exactly as expected: Allen, who outplayed the others, will get further play time in the AHL and be the most likely first call-up, while Falk beat out Bickel for the #7 spot.

Up front, only 5 cuts were made, not 6, as Hagelin will start the season on Injured Reserve (Callahan, who is recovering somewhat faster from the identical surgery on the same day, will not). I expected 4 of the cuts to be Fast, Hrivik, Lindberg, and Mashinter. 3 out of 4 ain't bad, but in a surprising move, Vigneualt kept Jesper Fast up with the big club. His other two cuts were Kreider and Powe, leaving Asham and Pyatt up to round out the roster.

If you've been paying attention, the starting goalie and defensemen should be obvious at this point (Lundqvist, McDonagh-Girardi, Staal-Del Zotto, Moore-Stralman), but the forward lines are something of a mystery. Some light was shed today when it was reported that Richards has been moved to the wing, skating at practice opposite Nash on a line centered by Stepan. This move makes sense to me: simplifying Richards's game might lead to good things for him offensively, and the Rangers, as my dad put it, "have 14 forwards, of whom 18 are centers," so this is a pretty solid shift. Behind that first line of Nash - Stepan - Richards, Vigneault seems to be keeping Pouliot - Brassard - Zuccarello together as a 2nd line.

Behind them, based on what we've seen at camp, it seems like Boyle will be the #3 center and Moore will be the #4 (with Miller, who is also a natural centerman, shifted to the wing). That leaves 4 wings to be taken up by any of: Asham, Dorsett, Fast, Miller, and Pyatt (given reports that Callahan, though active, will not be dressed on opening night). I don't imagine the Rangers leaving Fast in the lineup just to bench him (even if he outplayed others, wouldn't they rather develop him in Hartford, like Conor Allen?), so it seems most likely they'd try to use him on the third line, most likely along with J.T. Miller, who deserves more than 4th-line minutes. Behind Miller - Boyle - Fast, I would guess that Pyatt is the odd man out, in favor of a fourth line of Dorsett - Moore - Asham.

And so, here's my best opening night guess:

Nash - Stepan - Richards
Pouliot - Brassard - Zuccarello
Miller - Boyle - Fast
Dorsett - Moore - Asham

McDonagh - Girardi
Staal - Del Zotto
Moore - Stralman

Lundqvist
Biron

Healthy Scratches: Pyatt, Falk
Injured: Callahan

What do you think?

Postulation in the space between

So, great preseason, yeah?  1-5, outscored 22-9?  Whatever, it's the preseason; let's wait until next week, when we've been outscored 22-9 in the regular season, to be upset.

The Rangers will announce their final training camp cuts tomorrow, in anticipation of the deadline Monday at 3 PM, by which time they must be at or under 23.  By all indications (again, based on the airtight reliability of Twitter), it sounds like they'll be cutting down enough to leave Callahan and Hagelin among the active players.  Between that and the signing of Stepan (for almost exactly what the Rangers had been offering this whole time, by the way), Vigneault will have to make quite a few more cuts than I anticipated.  20 dress per night, and if Callahan and Hagelin are 2 more under the 23, that leaves room for only 1 more, likely a 7th defenseman.  From the current 20 forwards and 9 defensemen, then, it sounds like Vigneault may cut as many as 6 up front and 2 on the blue line tomorrow.  So, who?

It seems pretty likely that Boyle, Brassard, Moore, Nash, Pouliot, Richards, Stepan, and Zuccarello make the cut.  Given the way Miller's played, including last night's team-wide Frozen Fury Failure, he's got to make the list as well.  It's harder to be sure of this, but Dorsett's probably also looked good enough to stick around.  That leaves 2 spots open for: Asham, Fast, Hrivik, Kreider, Lindberg, Mashinter, Powe, and Pyatt.  Fast, Hrivik, Lindberg, and Mashinter almost certainly get cut, but it's hard to guess at the other two.  Regardless, it seems like they're the two that would sit if Callahan and Hagelin came back immediately.

In the back, obviously, Del Zotto, Girardi, McDonagh, Moore, and Staal are starters, and unfortunately, so is Stralman (though he's been outplayed by others).  So, the 7th D spot is left to one of Allen, Bickel, and Falk.  To me, Allen has clearly outplayed the other two, but he's also the 23-year-old who would benefit from regular play time in Hartford.  Personally, I'd give him the 6th spot in Stralman's stead and see what happened, but that's unlikely, and it seems like a waste to have Allen on the NHL squad to sit on the bench every night - much like Cam Talbot, who outplayed Biron in camp, but who was ultimately sent down to the Wolfpack to get regular play.  Discounting Allen, Falk should get the #7 spot over Bickel.

That's all I've got.  Tomorrow, we'll see why I'm an idiot.  Bye!

The cuts are in

I was right, except for where I was wrong! First of all, they went ahead and cut Cam Talbot. That's not really surprising: it was always going to happen by next week, no matter how he or Biron played, because he needs the playing time to improve and can't be seated on an NHL bench all season. I just expected him to get a game or half sometime this week first. Whatever. On the blue line, Vigneault assigned exactly the expected four to Hartford: Johnson, Hughes, McIlrath, and Syvret. Again, no surprises.

Up front, though, the cuts were a little bit unexpected. The staff sent Haley, Kantor, and Yogan to the Wolfpack, as I (and many others) thought. They left Brandon Mashinter up with the big club, which I did not see coming (I would have expected Haley to stay up before him), but which you will recall I have no problems with. Because of the face-punching.

The one surprising move was their ninth and final cut: Danny Kristo. Not that I'm ready to make a case that Kristo is NHL-ready: he's a kid who needs more playing time before he's responsible enough to play in the league. It's just weird that he got sent down while others of his ilk (like Hrivik) and below his ilk (Lindberg, about whom I really must be missing something) stayed up. Ultimately, cuts have to be made, and this was probably a smart one, but it's surprising that it came in this round.

So, who's left? 30 players:

Forwards (19)
Aaron Asham, Brian Boyle, Derick Brassard, Ryan Callahan, Derek Dorsett, Jesper Fast, Carl Hagelin, Marek Hrivik, Chris Kreider, Oscar Lindberg, Brandon Mashinter, J.T. Miller, Dominic Moore, Rick Nash, Benoit Pouliot, Darroll Powe, Taylor Pyatt, Brad Richards, Mats Zuccarello

Defensemen (9)
Conor Allen, Stu Bickel, Michael Del Zotto, Justin Falk, Dan Girardi, Ryan McDonagh, John Moore, Marc Staal, Anton Stralman

Goalies (2)
Marty Biron, Henrik Lundqvist

Obviously, the goalies are set. Vigneault has said he intends to carry four defensive pairs on opening night, so that leaves only one cut to be made on the blue line: surely it will be either Allen or Bickel, and the other seven should still be around next Thursday night.

To get down to the maximum 23-man roster, that leaves room for 13 forwards. Of the 19 still on the list right now, Callahan and Hagelin will likely start the season inactive, which leaves 17 people to fill those 13 spots. So, in addition to Allen or Bickel, the Rangers must cut (at minimum) four more forwards before opening night. Obviously, nothing is sure - Boyle, Dorsett, Kreider, Moore, and Pouliot could all be on the bubble as well - but I have to imagine that those 4 cuts would most likely come from among 8 dudes: Asham, Fast, Hrivik, Lindberg, Mashinter, Miller, Powe, and Pyatt.

Next stop: Vancouver. Any storylines anyone can think of for that game?

Disappointment in Cal Gary and Oil Country

Live professional games are blacked out when you order MSG from out of town, even preseason ones, so the discerning Pittsburgh-based Ranger fan is left with no choice but to stay up for the encore showings for his preseason fix. When the game is a 9:00 puck drop to begin with, that means watching the game starting at 12:30 AM. Plus, the listing got fucked last night, so I missed the first and last 10 minutes. So forgive me if my impressions are completely off-base, but here they are anyway!

The two overarching takeaways seem to be: those young forwards are really fast, and we made a lot of defensive mistakes. That is absolutely the right summary. It is also largely uninteresting, because it describes basically every 18-year-old hockey player trying to play at the NHL level ever. So, while I too was impressed by speed and disappointed by defensive lapses, I'm trying not to get too worked up over either.

Here's what I think I learned:

-- I may have been right when I said I like Jesper Fast. He had another impressive offensive game, and I'd like to continue to see more of him in the Blueshirt. Vigneault presumably even liked him enough Monday night that the coach ended up switching him with Kreider, and so he had a chance with Richards and Nash, which was fun. Speaking of lines that may or may not exist in the coach's head, the Pouliot-Brassard-Zuccarello line appears to remain a thing, at least for now.

-- I may have been wrong when I said I like Justin Falk. Obviously, Monday's 1-game sample is no bigger than than the previous Monday's was, but he was a step behind in it. Does this mean he's worse than Stralman? Or penalty magnet Stu Bickel? Who can say?

-- I now have something to say about Marek Hrivik: Hooray Marek Hrivik! Dude's been hanging out with Danny Kristo, and it's been quick and delightful. You know that feeling you get whenever you watch the Oilers play these days? Like, you know they aren't actually a big deal, and that none of this holds up, but you can't help getting excited? That's how it is to watch these two. It's starting to look like Hrivik, Kristo, Fast, and Pouliot should top the list of forwards you've never heard of who might still be around next week.

-- Relatedly, I'm just missing the Oscar Lindberg boat for some reason. He centered that duo last night, and he seems to be on the coach's short(er) list, but he hasn't stood out for me at all.

-- This part sucks. Arron Asham has actually had a pretty good camp. Understand: this does not make him any less of a codpiece, and it would be far easier to root for a Ranger team without him than with him. But, he's been fast, strong on the puck, making the right passes, and responsibly position. I'm sad about it, because if he'd looked this week like he looked last season, I wouldn't still be faced with a reasonable possibility of rooting for a team that employs Arron Asham. Other people this is bad news for: Micheal Haley.

-- Meanwhile, while I'm not inherently opposed to Vigneault's experimentation among forward positions, either I've found center Darroll Powe to be significantly less effective than winger Darroll Powe, or I'm remembering winger Darroll Powe as being better than he was. Brandon Mashinter hasn't looked any better, but he's not supposed to, and he did punch Cam Janssen's face a lot last week, so for some reason I just have more positive feelings about him.

-- Aaron Johnson has not gotten any better since last week, paired last night with the Invisible Tommy Hughes. I wouldn't blink if both were cut today. Conor Allen, on the other hand, actually made some nice plays opposite Marc Staal. Although, maybe that's just the effect of being opposite Marc Staal. In the best news of all, against all odds, Marc Staal appears to be Marc Staal again.

-- None of Dylan McIlrath, Danny Syvret, Michael Kantor, and Andrew Yogan got the chance to suit up in either of these two games, after all had uninspiring showings last Tuesday. With only two preseason games left and a 39-man roster still to be whittled down, I can't imagine the Rangers holding onto spots for any of these guys (although my imagination may be lacking).

-- It was nice to see J.T. Miller finally get some action after starting camp with an injury. He looked all right, but it's hard to judge either way after just the one game. So this is me, spending three sentences to say "I don't really know what to think about J.T. Miller right now."

Is that everyone? I hope that's everyone. With the final two games of the preseason tomorrow night and Friday night, I expect more roster cuts today, though it's hard to say how many (Twitter, the ultimate source for such things, seems somewhat split on this issue right now). I guess, looking at what I've just written, that the obvious cuts are something like: Haley, Kantor, Mashinter, Yogan, Johnson, Hughes, McIlrath, and Syvret. That's 4 forwards and 4 D-men, bringing us to 19 and 9. If I were in charge, it looks like I'd also cut Powe and Lindberg (and probably Bickel, whom I left off of that list because we don't need to go down to 8 defensemen yet and because my father likes him).

So, those were my impressions. I guess we'll see later today how closely they line up with the coaching staff's.

Wild Speculation!

You know what I missed most about sports blogging, you guys?  No, it wasn't the steady paycheck nor the inherent respect that comes with the position, but good guesses.  No, it was the wild speculation!  You see, when actual hockey is happening, it's easy to stay entertained by hockey, because there is hockey.  But when shit like a week of training camp in Banff, Alberta between preseason games happens, what is an obsessive fan to do?

I'll tell you: blog irresponsibly about what the fantasy Rangers in my head might look like in a few weeks, when there is actual hockey!  Now is arguably the perfect time to be a fan, in one's imagination: we've already got enough specific information about the squad to imagine what the lineup might look like, but we've yet to experience any of the inevitable disappointment that comes with watching the actual team play actual games.  Hooray!  Let's go Rangers!

Vigneault has said that he ultimately wants to carry 8 defensemen on the roster, because he feels like they're more versatile (it's easier for them to fill in for forwards than vice versa), which gives us an idea of the ultimate opening night roster size: 12 forwards, 8 blue liners, and 2 goalies.  The netminders are easy: barring catastrophe, Talbot needs the playing opportunity afforded by the starting position on the Wolfpack, leaving Biron to back up Lundqvist.

On D, it's starting to look like the opening night top 6 are pretty much set. The coach has said that he likes McDonagh with Girardi, Staal with Del Zotto, and Stralman with Moore.  I'd like to see Falk paired with Moore instead, but like so many of his predecessors, Alain Vigneault stubbornly refuses to call me for advice.  That basically leaves Bickel, Falk, Johnson, Allen, Hughes, McIlrath, and Syrvet competing for the 2 spots in the "extra" pair. I'd be disappointed and surprised if one of those didn't go to Falk, but I imagine the other is legitimately up for grabs.

Up front, conventional wisdom is that the top line is shaping up to be Richards centering Nash and Kreider.  Score one for conventional wisdom.  Conventional wisdom also expects a line of Brassard between Pouliot and Zuccarello.  I'm not as convinced of Pouliot as conventional wisdom is, but we're blogging irresponsibly, so let's go with it.  With the "missing persons" line (Stepan between Callahan and Hagelin) likely to be back within the first month, that leaves us two lines to totally fabricate: the "4th line" (which would be promoted to 3rd in the beginning of the season) and the "5th line" (which would be cut once the missing persons line returns).

It seems pretty clear that Boyle and Moore are the two centers who round out those lines, and it's likely they'll also include Pyatt and Dorsett.  That leaves 11 forwards vying for those last 2 opening night wings.  Haley, Lindberg, and Miller are all natural centermen, and Asham's a fuck, which brings us down to 7 legitimate candidates for those two spots: Powe, Fast, Hrivik, Kantor, Kristo, Mashinter, and Yogan.  Based solely on his play last week, I'd really like to see Fast get a chance with one of them.  Meanwhile, to split the lines, let's say that Pyatt and Dorsett are the "4th line" wings, and that Boyle vs. Moore is a legitimate competition to center those two.

Incidentally, we can now do some clearer cap math.  Let's assume that the missing persons line is back and that we were right about all our wild assumptions here.  Then, given the least expensive variation (Syrvet as the 8th D; Moore at center), the Rangers' cap total without Stepan would be $59,102,500.  The most expensive variation (Allen as the 8th D; Boyle at center) ups that to $60,990,000.  This year's cap is $64.3 million, leaving the Rangers somewhere between $3.3 million and $5.2 million to sign Stepan and leave room to maneuver throughout the season.  With the Rangers reportedly offering Stepan $3 million while he asks for 3.5, it sounds like best case, we'll have just over $2 million of wiggle room this season, and worst case, we'll be right up against the cap.

Of course, that's all based on lineups I completely invented, so none of it really means anything.  But that's what you get when the team is at training camp in Banff.

Childhood tales

When young Derek Stepan was skating for prestigious Shattuck-St. Mary's in Faribault, Minnesota, I bet he dreamed of being a professional hockey player one day, don't you? And when his success there moved him on to college as a Wisconsin Badger, don't you think he dreamed of being drafted one day soon? Maybe for his hometown Minnesota Wild, or maybe even an Original Six franchise, like the nearby Chicago Blackhawks. Maybe he even hoped, against the odds, to be picked up by the Original Six team that once drafted his father, Brad Stepan. Do you think he imagined what it would be like to compete against other 20-year-olds, to try to crack the lineup of the 80-year-old franchise and play professional hockey under the jumbotron in the world's most famous arena?

And then he was, like his father before him, drafted by the New York Rangers. He finally had his opportunity to be an NHL center, playing the game at the highest level. And he performed well at camp, and he had his chance to really play - all his life, I bet, had led up to that moment in a way. Do you think he talked to his family and friends about it? Do you think he said stuff like "all my dreams are coming true" or "this is what I've always wanted"? Do you think he said "I hope I can do everything I can to get this team to lift the Stanley Cup"? Or maybe just "this is an opportunity for me to be the best I can possibly be at the thing I love most"?

Do you think that, at any point, any of that was followed up with "unless my team is having salary cap issues, but my agent thinks I can squeeze an extra few hundred thousand bucks a year out of them - then I'm staying home no matter what"?

At what point do you become the kind of person who, when offered 3 million dollars a year for the next 2 years to play hockey at the NHL level on the team you've had so much success with, says "I won't take a penny less than 3.5 million" and just cold refuses to report? The kind of person who believes, so strongly, that he deserves three and a half million dollars a year that he would rather just stay home and forsake the NHL, his team, and his own personal development than accept three million and play?

And what's the endgame? Root against the Rangers for a while? Hope they're so bad that management decides that it needs you; that the extra half a million against the cap is worth it? That they come running back and apologize to you, paying you more despite their need to re-sign actual unrestricted free agents like Dan Girardi, Ryan Callahan, and Henrik Lundqvist less than one year from now? Walk back into the locker room as your new teammates' savior? And what do you do if the Rangers find success without you? Return sheepishly in mid-October to a room full of Rangers and coaches who wonder why you thought this holdout was worth you spending the next month or two half a step behind, catching up to a new system that everyone else started working on in early September?

What is in your head, child, as you watch on MSG as the coaches help develop offensive talent in players like Kreider and Fast, Brassard and Pouliot? Because unless it's "I do not need that coaching help or that team chemistry as much as I need an extra 500K on top of my 3 million dollar offer," then you are not acting in accordance with your brain. Nut up, sign a piece of paper, and get on a plane to Banff full of contrition, you goddamn dingleberry.

More roster cuts

Before leaving for their West Coast pre-season road trip, Vigneault was expected to make a few more cuts today, and he did. The Rangers cut a modest 6 players this morning. Here's who:

Goalie Johan Hedberg, who really was apparently only brought in on a tryout in case Biron's mysterious late reporting turned out to be a Thing. It did not, and Moose never saw a second of preseason game time before being cut this morning. Yikes. Hedberg is now released into the world of unrestricted free agency; the rest of these guys will be sent back to Hartford.
Forwards Josh Nicholls and Michael St. Croix, who are on two-way contracts with the Rangers and the Wolfpack, and defenseman Brendon Nash, who is signed with only the Wolfpack. These guys didn't get dressed for either of this week's games, so there's not much to say about them. Such is the life of a prospect.
Forward Ryan Bourque, whom I noted yesterday looked disappointing in Monday night's contest against Some Of The Devils. Vigneault's staff seems to agree. Next camp, he'll be 23 and drafted 5 years earlier. Anyone else starting to think that the hype was really all based on his last name?
Forward Shawn O'Donnell, who is signed only with the Wolfpack. I still have nothing to say about Shawn O'Donnell.

Interestingly, in cutting Hedberg, Nash, and O'Donnell, the Rangers got rid of everyone left on the list who does not have some sort of contract (1-way or 2-way) with them (Derek Stepan notwithstanding). Also, in cutting Hedberg, Nash, Nicholls, and St. Croix, they rid themselves of almost everyone who had not yet played a preseason game. Excepting Stepan and the injured two (Ryan Callahan and Carl Hagelin), that list is now down to two: J.T. Miller, who is healthy now but wasn't at the time of the preseason games, and defenseman Tommy Hughes, the lone healthy scratch through both games who is still on the camp list. Good for you, Tommy!

For those of you keeping score, the cuts should bring us down to 40, but the Rangers' current camp roster actually only bears 39 names: it is missing Derek Stepan's entirely. This is a notable change: the Blueshirts United article about the last round of cuts specifically said the list was down to 46, which would have included Stepan. The latest article refers to 6 but says that the list is now down to 39, which would not. Now, this doesn't mean that Stepan won't be a Ranger - it's hard to imagine him actually holding out for too long after the season starts (for reference, P.K. Subban's holdout last season lasted 4 Canadiens regular season games), and it's hard to imagine any GM actually writing an offer sheet (ever, for some reason). It's largely just yet another sign that negotiations are still not going well. And no matter the details or the outcome, the longer it lasts, the worse it is for both Stepan and the Rangers.

The remaining 39 (discounting Stepan, as the Rangers' list has now done) break down as 23 forwards, 13 defensemen, and 3 goalies. Because it is now convenient to do so, I'll go ahead and recompile them from my previous two posts.

Players with NHL Contracts (Cap hit is noted)
Forwards (14): Arron Asham ($1m), Brian Boyle ($1.7m), Derick Brassard ($3.2m), Ryan Callahan** ($4.275m), Derek Dorsett ($1,633,333), Carl Hagelin** ($2.25m), Micheal Haley ($600,000), Dominic Moore ($1m), Rick Nash ($7.8m), Benoit Pouliot ($1.3m), Darroll Powe ($1,066,667), Taylor Pyatt ($1.55m), Brad Richards ($6,666,667), Mats Zuccarello ($1.15m)
Defensemen (8): Stu Bickel ($750,000), Michael Del Zotto ($2.55m), Justin Falk ($975,000), Dan Girardi ($3.325m), Aaron Johnson ($600,000), Ryan McDonagh ($4.7m), Marc Staal ($3.975m), Anton Stralman ($1.7m)
Goalies (2): Martin Biron ($1.3m), Henrik Lundqvist ($6.875m)

(** = Injured, likely to be inactive on opening night)

Players with Two-Way Contracts (NHL cap hit is noted)
Forwards (9): Jesper Fast ($900,000), Marek Hrivik ($685,000), Michael Kantor ($583,333), Chris Kreider ($1.325m), Danny Kristo ($1.3m), Oscar Lindberg ($760,000), Brandon Mashinter ($605,000), J.T. Miller** ($1,244,167), Andrew Yogan ($800,000)
Defensemen (5): Conor Allen ($1.775m), Tommy Hughes** ($608,333), Dylan McIlrath ($1.295), John Moore ($965,000), Danny Syrvet ($587,500)
Goalies (1): Cam Talbot ($562,500)

(** = Has not yet played in a game this preseason)

Those are the 39 players that will continue camp out west and eventually be trimmed down to an opening night roster. Since two will likely start the season on the injured reserve list, and therefore inactive, the minimum number of cuts the Rangers need to make is only 14, to get down to the 23-person limit. But I'd expect a few more than that before the puck drops October 3, since Callahan and Hagelin will likely return before November, Stepan might decide he wants to be a professional hockey player after all, and 23 is kind of a lot anyway. Meanwhile, until next week, if we're lucky, maybe MSG will televise more of training camp?