Friday, April 27, 2012

Neat Stuff

The topic: assorted semi-interesting facts about the second round of the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs. And....go!

With a 2/8 matchup and a 3/4 matchup in the West, and a 1/7 matchup and a 5/6 matchup in the East, the second round this year contains exactly one team of each seed number (1-8).

In the West, Kings are the only team that pulled off an upset. In the East, the Rangers are the only team that didn't suffer one.

The Rangers are moving on from defeating the team from Canada's capital city to try and defeat the team from America's capital city.

Three of the final four teams left standing in the East are from the Atlantic Division. If the Rangers win their series, the Conference Finals will be an intra-divisional matchup. (THOUGHT EXERCISE: How much less exciting would these Playoffs be after realignment? Answer in 500 words or less.)

The four teams remaining in the East are separated by a maximum of just over 200 miles (about 4 and a half hours by car). The four remaining teams in the West are separated by over 2000 miles (about 4 and a half hours by airplane).

Remember how three of the remaining teams in the Playoffs are from the Atlantic Division? Well, none of the other five has ever won the Cup before.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Do professional athletes get tired?

Coach Tortorella clearly feels that they don't. But I wonder if they might. I'm pretty sure that at the end of an NHL game, especially a playoff game, the players are a little exhausted. Exhausted enough to affect performance? Maybe.

As you know, two nights ago, the Rangers fell to the Senators, 3-2 in overtime, to even the series at 2 games apiece. As you probably also heard, the loss was the Rangers' seventh consecutive Playoff OT loss - you have to go back to April 29, 2007 (Game 3 of the Second Round, against Buffalo) for the last time the Rangers won a Playoff game in OT. This is, of course, a very small sample size spread over a number of years, and therefore meaningless. But I do wonder if John Tortorella's Rangers, specifically, might be less geared toward winning an extended game, because the coach tires his players out so much.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

A stray thought

I don't know much about basketball. I mean, I could probably identify a basketball hoop in a lineup of tall things, and I'm fairly certain that I've heard of Shaq. But that's as far as it goes, so take this with a grain of salt.

From what I understand, college basketball is considered a more respectable sport than NBA basketball. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that I've heard from multiple basketball fans about how March Madness is when they really watch all the time, because the NBA is just kinda weird and spectacular, and the college games are where real basketball skill comes out. Again, I have no idea what "real basketball skill" is, this is just a thing I've heard.

Anyway, I was (obviously) thinking about hockey today, between watching the filthy brawl the Penguins brought into Philadelphia in lieu of a hockey game this afternoon and hearing about the totally arbitrary suspension decisions handed down this evening. The obvious connection for me was that games like this afternoon's are made possible by decisions like this evening's. It's a larger-scale version of what happens in games: last night, the linesmen didn't skate in to stop Matt Carkner from wailing on Brian Boyle, so eventually Brandon Dubinsky had to, which got him thrown out of the game. Similarly, this afternoon, the referees left James Neal on the ice after he jumped into Sean Couturier's head, which led to further brawls with him immediately afterwards.

On a larger scale, this is what the NHL is doing: failing to appropriately police the players, thus creating situations in which terrible shit happens on the ice. We already talked about the non-suspension on Shea Weber, and what kind of message it sends. When the decision-making in general is as arbitrary as it's been this week, there is no incentive for players to not be dirtbags. And on a large scale, when the NHL fails to send any kind of message (other than "Sometimes we suspend people, moreso if we don't like them that much, maybe"), it leads to debacles like we saw this afternoon, in which it's possible that Matt Cooke actually was the cleanest Penguin on the ice.

So, I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about how it seems to be getting worse lately. And I found myself extrapolating to what the NHL would look like 10 years from now, if it kept doling out this same brand of weird, arbitrary non-justice. It wasn't pretty. And so I found myself wondering if real hockey fans, such as myself, might just start getting our hockey from other places - if maybe by my 50s I'd just be a big Cornell fan or something. Which is why, you see, I made the connection and found myself thinking about basketball, something I do not do very often, because I am pretty bad at it.

I think a dog won the Basketball Cup one year? Disney made a documentary about it? Something like that.

Regardless, then I remembered what Gary Bettman's job was from 1981 to 1992. And then I got really depressed. So I wrote this blog entry. I don't feel better.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

It's shit like this

Holy shit how do you not suspend Shea Weber holy shit you guys seriously?

Did you not see this? Why have you not seen this? Go look at this.



My favorite angle is shown from about 0:43 to about 0:52 in that video. I'll wait. Watch it as many times as you like.

Sufficiently angry? Good. Here's the thing: not suspended at all. This is a league with humongous-big concussion problems! Even that one-and-only-hockey-player-we're-supposed-to-care-about had one for a while, you may have heard about it? Here's a great way to not reduce head injuries: allow players to just slam each other's heads into the boards like it ain't no thang. It is a thang, NHL. It is very much a thang. This is brutal, intentional, and has potential to cause serious head injury! This is a fucking no-brainer! Shanny, what say you?

"We reached out to Detroit following the game and were informed that Zetterberg did not suffer an apparent injury and should be in the lineup for Game 2. This play and the fine that addressed it will be significant factors in assessing any incidents involving Shea Weber throughout the remainder of the playoffs."

Right. 'Cause. You know. Weber did his best to slam Zetterberg's head into the boards in such a way that it wouldn't give him a concussion. You can clearly tell from the video: he angles his hand in such a way that the smash will only cause immediate pain, and definitely not any lasting damage. Obviously. Plus, we know for sure that Zetterberg is fine, because concussions always reveal themselves fully immediately following hits. Can't think of any famous concussion cases in recent NHL history, wherein a team didn't figure out its star player was concussed until a game or two later, right?

Look: Brendan Shanahan's job is hard. You can't always tell, analyzing the video of a play, whether something was malicious or incidental, and degree of injury doesn't always correspond to intent. These things are inherently subtle and subjective. But occasionally, you are handed a gift. Every once in a while, you get to see a video in which someone very obviously and intentionally picks up a dude's head and slams it hard into some plexiglass. Those are the days that you should rejoice that you finally got an easy one to get right.

We all recall that John Tortorella got fined $20,000 last week for calling the Penguins arrogant, right? (Yes, I know that Bettman said it was because Tortorella cursed in the presser. I'm far too lazy to go collect countless clips of coaches cursing in pressers, which they do all the time, without penalty. Everyone, including Torts, understands exactly why he was really fined.) I'm not here to complain about that fine, I'm here to present a basis of comparison.

The CBA states that the maximum player fine for an incident is $2500, and that's exactly what the NHL fined Weber today. Last week's post-game presser cost John Tortorella $20,000. I know the NHL can't do anything about the maximum player fine, but it could easily have found its nutsack and suspended Weber, if it wanted to make any kind of statement about player safety. Without a suspension, you're left with this incident looking, to the casual observer, ten times more acceptable than a head coach badmouthing another team. Why would the NHL want to send that kind of message?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Also...

This past weekend, the Pens' party line was "the Flyers bring out the worst in us." So what's the explanation for Brooks Orpik going knee-on-knee on Derek Stepan in a dogshit, uninspired 4-1 lead with 4:00 left?

East chances: updated again

One more time:

New York Rangers:
-- 1st, vs. Florida/Ottawa/Washington

Boston Bruins:
-- 2nd, vs. Ottawa/Washington

Florida Panthers:
-- 3rd, vs. New Jersey
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers

Pittsburgh Penguins:
-- 4th, vs. Philadelphia

Philadelphia Flyers:
-- 5th, vs. Pittsburgh

New Jersey Devils:
-- 6th, vs. Florida/Washington

Ottawa Senators:
-- 7th, vs. Boston
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers

Washington Capitals:
-- 3rd, vs. New Jersey
-- 7th, vs. Boston
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Eastern Possibilities: Updated

OK, so I do think it's neat. Updated to reflect tonight's games:

New York Rangers:
-- 1st, vs. Florida/Ottawa/Washington/Buffalo

Boston Bruins:
-- 2nd, vs. Ottawa/Washington

Florida Panthers:
-- 3rd, vs. Philadelphia/New Jersey
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers
-- 9th, ELIMINATED

Pittsburgh Penguins:
-- 4th, vs. Philadelphia/New Jersey
-- 5th, vs. Philadelphia

Philadelphia Flyers:
-- 4th, vs. Pittsburgh
-- 5th, vs. Pittsburgh
-- 6th, vs. Florida/Washington

New Jersey Devils:
-- 5th, vs. Pittsburgh
-- 6th, vs. Florida/Washington

Ottawa Senators:
-- 7th, vs. Boston
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers

Washington Capitals:
-- 3rd, vs. Philadelphia/New Jersey
-- 7th, vs. Boston
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers
-- 9th, ELIMINATED

Buffalo Sabres:
-- 8th, vs. New York Rangers
-- 9th, ELIMINATED

Potential Playoff Opponents: East

I was looking at the standings today, and rather than what will probably happen, I was thinking about what could theoretically possibly happen. I thought it was a neat way to look at things. So even though tomorrow, many of these possibilities may be eliminated, I thought I'd share it with you. By team, what follows is a comprehensive list of possible 1st-round playoff situations in the East. This might be a neat way to, night by night, eliminate certain outcomes? Although, since I'm going away for the weekend for Passover, maybe I won't ever get around to actually doing that. Anyway, I thought it was neat. So here it is. (Notably absent from this list are the Lightning, Jets, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs, Islanders, and Canadiens, all of whom have been eliminated from contention.)